


Talking Things Out

by Sirarthurdent (orphan_account)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Barisi - Freeform, How Do I Tag, Insecurity, M/M, Out of Character, Romance, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 02:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10799574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Sirarthurdent
Summary: Rafael and Sonny sort out what they are to each other.(This is my first fic so any constructive criticism is very much appreciated! Please let me know of any mistakes. Thank you!)





	Talking Things Out

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to contribute to the Barisi tag! Characters are kind of OOC, but I hope you enjoy anyway!

      Sonny and Rafael had been hooking up for a little less than six months when things finally came to a head They had made plans to meet up at Rafael's apartment after work, but the time Sonny was expected to arrive came and went. Hours passed and Rafael grew more and more hurt and furious. Rafael stayed up all night waiting for Sonny with no word, and his pride would not let him be the one to call or text first. Rafael finally went to bed hurt and alone.

  
       The next afternoon at the precinct Sonny acted like there was nothing wrong. No apology, and no reason for ditching Rafael without so much as a text. Needless to say, Rafael was pissed. After lots of sneering, side eye, and snappy comments, Sonny finally got Rafael alone. He stood in Rafael's office, shifting from foot to foot, waiting for Rafael to look up from the folder he was reading and actually acknowledge his presence. Sonny broke first, as he usually did, and walked around the desk, Rafael was using as a shield, to Barba's side. "Rafi," he started hesitantly, "did I do something to upset you?" Rafael whipped around, dislodging the large hand that had been trying to brush through his hair.

  
     "Did you do something wrong! Really, Sonny!?" Rafael was fuming. He couldn't believe Sonny actually had the nerve to act like nothing happened. "You know what Detective Carisi? I think you should leave, I have work to do." Rafael gritted his teeth and turned back to the case he'd been looking at for fifteen minutes yet hadn't read a word of. Rafael knew Sonny could do better. He knew that this thing between them probably meant jack shit to the younger man, and he told himself that every day, to not get too attached, that if he did it would only end badly. But against his better judgment, he did. And Sonny had to go and prove that he really didn't care.

  
        "What the Hell Rafi, besides from your shit talking in front of the team, we haven't even spoken today, so why are you mad?" Sonny retorted. Rafael told himself to stay cool, that if he only played it off as nothing, then he could live in this fantasy  a little bit longer. He could imagine that when Sonny's mouth was on his that what they had was an actual relationship, and not just easy sex for Sonny, but Rafael was never one to bite his tongue.

      "Maybe if we had woken up together like was planned, then we would have actually held a conversation today, Carisi!" Rafael briefly considered keeping his voice down so as to not alert Carmen, but he scrapped that idea. Besides, he told himself,  after the numerous amount of times Sonny and I have left my office red faced and disheveled, I'm sure she knows that something is going on. With that thought in mind he continued to yell. "I know  you don't care about me, but when we have plans that you find yourself unable to up-hold you fucking call! You do not leave me to worry about you by myself all damn night with no word!" Rafael was flushed and breathing heavily by the time he finished. He glared up at Sonny, half expecting him to say something along the lines of  how he didn't have to tell his fuck buddy where he was all the time. And Rafael, who made a career out of speaking, really did not know how he could respond to that. Rafael swallowed the sudden lump in his throat and waited. To his surprise Sonny looked upset. Not angry or annoyed like he was expecting, but distressed.

  
         "I'm so sorry Rafi," Sonny said while running a hand through his blonde hair, "I didn't even think of it. You now how I am, sometimes I don't use my head. I got off late, and assumed you'd already be in bed, so I went home. I should've called you. I just haven't been in a serious relationship for a while, I just need to get used to this part again." Sonny's Staten Island accent got thicker the longer he talked, like Rafael knew, it always did when he was greatly upset.

         "Serious relationship?" Rafael asked, keeping his voice deliberately neutral, and face blank besides from the raising of his eyebrows. He has never heard of calling a situation in which you occasionally sleep with someone a 'serious relationship.' He didn't want to get his hopes up only to be disappointed, like has happened all to often in his past, but he felt that foolish optimism rise in him anyway.

  
         "Yeah," Sonny said, shifting on his feet, "I mean- I just thought-" Sonny paused, visibly swallowing. "Aren't we?" Sonny's face was open, and visibly confused, bordering on hurt. "Is this your fucked up way of breaking up with me Rafi?" Sonny's jaw tightened as he clenched his teeth. Crossing his arms and glowering down at Barba, Sonny attempted to look strong, although they both knew he was doing an awful job of covering his wounded look.

       A moment later Rafael jerked suddenly, realizing Sonny was still waiting for an answer, "No!" He shouted. "No, Sonny. Not at all. I just meant-" Rafael paused not wanting to sound needy or pathetic. He sighed, shifting in his expensive leather chair, and looking down at the paperwork in front of him. "I was just saying that this," he says gesturing between the two of them with his hand, "isn't really a relationship."  Rafael looked up to see that Sonny could do the kicked puppy expression just as well as he could do the excited one. Rafael is always watching Sonny but this was one expression he'd never seen before. 

  
      "Why would you say that?" Sonny is obviously upset, and Rafael is hurries to appease him and take the frown from his face.

  
           "I am not saying that I do not want a relationship with you Sonny. All I mean is that you can, and will, do much better than me. And I have accepted that," Rafael's face is calm and serious, "there is no need for you to feed me platitudes about how much you care just because I freaked out over one little missed hookup. We can just forget this ever happened and go back to how we were."  Rafael waits. He looks up at the detective torn between hoping that Sonny will listen and just forget about Rafael's outburst, and the wish that this would just end now, so that he wouldn't have to put himself through it anymore.

           Sonny is staring at Rafael with a strangely intense look. "Okay," he says slowly, and Rafael can feel his heart break. He knew how Sonny felt, but it didn't make it any easier to hear Sonny agree with him. Rafael stops his inner breakdown as Sonny comes closer so that he is standing between Rafael's knees. "I'm realizing that we've never talked about this before. But I thought we were together," Sonny says, putting his hand against the side of Rafael's neck and caressing the soft skin, " and I thought you knew that." Sonny smiles at him softly, "I suppose I should have made this clear before, but I love you, Rafi." Rafael's jaw drops and his eyes widen, visibly shocked. "And I want to be with you. Only you. Always." Rafael is too surprised to speak, which is very rare for him. Sonny slides his hands to the lapels of Rafael's suit jacket and slowly pulls him up until he's standing. Rafael feels warmth flood his body as Sonny's long arms wrap around his waist pulling him into his chest snuggly. Rafael rests his forehead on Sonny's pale neck and breathes in the familiar scent of his skin. A smile slowly spreads on Rafael's face and he will never admit it, but his cheeks are wet.

  
          "I love you too, Sonny." It's quiet, less than a whisper, but he knows Sonny can hear him. His arms tighten around his waist and he can feel his dimpled smirk against his temple. Sonny's large hand comes up and runs through Rafael's hair, tilting his head back until he's staring up into his blue eyes, and there faces are an inch away from one an others.  

         "So, boyfriend," Sonny grins, "would you like to go on a date with me?" Rafael grins back and wraps his arms around Sonny's neck, bringing their faces even closer.

         "That sounds like a wonderful idea." Rafael murmurs, before closing the small distance between their lips.


End file.
